Cats

 

 

 

 

We had a kitten who got really fat really fast, so we quit feeding her, and she kept getting fatter.

The fatter she got, the more we tried everything to slim her down, in proper human dietary form.So she caught rats who were bigger than her and ate the entire things, and kept getting fatter.

Then one day, she seemed to have lost weight overnight, which should have been our first clue.But it wasnít until days later that we heard the six kittens she quietly had in a hidden, remote part of the garage where she deposited her kittens, probably to keep us from putting them on a diet like hers.

Wow.Even with human intervention, a six month old kitten managed to have six kittens, so we did some simple math.Much to our surprise, if her kittens were as resourceful and prone to propagate the kitten race as she, and if this ability of kittens to have kittens within six months went on from generation to generation, our little kitten would have had 1.7 million descendants by the time she was 4 Ĺ years old (and had had just six kittens every six months):

1

1

2

6

3

36

4

216

5

1,296

6

7,776

7

46,656

8

279,936

9

1,679,616

10

10,077,696

11

60,466,176

12

362,797,056

13

2,176,782,336

 

You think thatís surprising?You ainít seen nuttin honey.Such cats live 14 years, and if I told you the math for the average American 14 year old kitten, youíd wonder why cats arenít hanging from the rafters, not to mention the trees:

1

1

2

6

3

36

4

216

5

1,296

6

7,776

7

46,656

8

279,936

9

1,679,616

10

10,077,696

11

60,466,176

12

362,797,056

13

2,176,782,336

14

13,060,694,016

15

78,364,164,096

16

470,184,984,576

17

2,821,109,907,456

18

16,926,659,444,736

19

101,559,956,668,416

20

609,359,740,010,496

21

3,656,158,440,062,980

22

21,936,950,640,377,900

23

131,621,703,842,267,000

24

789,730,223,053,603,000

25

4,738,381,338,321,620,000

26

28,430,288,029,929,700,000

27

170,581,728,179,578,000,000

28

1,023,490,369,077,470,000,000

 

You read that right.Thereís no spreadsheet error here.If the viability of all six kittens born from all six kittens for the next 14 years or 28 birth cycles was anything close to the kitten we almost succeeded in starving to death, between 1994 and 2008, our little kitten would have had, not 2.2 billion (that would have happened by the time she was age 6 Ĺ) , not 2.8 trillion (that would have happened by age 8 Ĺ), not 3.7 quadrillion (that would have happened by age 10 Ĺ), not 4.7 quadrillion (that would have happened by age 12 Ĺ), but ONE QUINTILLION CAT DESCENDANTS.

And you wonder why the SPCA complains about your local dog catcher?Thereís only one explanation for why cats (and dogs) havenít over-run all our neighborhoods, and thatís the success of dog (and cat) catchers.Or perhaps there arenít enough rats to go around and if our cat hadnít made the lucky catch of several juicy rats, her claim to fame as the ancestor to a quintillion cats would have been cut off at the pass (or in the garage as the case may be).