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PERSONAL STORIES FROM FATHERS AND THEIR CHILDREN

How feminism destroyed families and children

The true story of the Crowton Family

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Additional stories.

Mike Wimbish nets $19 out of $853.

ONE 19 months ago my son and I were ripped apart by the feminazis/Gestapo-like witch-hunters at the Child "Protective" Services here in Ventura COunty, CA. Since then I have spent $30,000+ to merely right the mistaken idea that I molested my own son, which he and I have vehemently denied from the get-go. I have filed bankruptcy as a result of this - this, from having owned three homes in my life. My ex, who has been described as having "paranoid ideations", is somewhat of a lunatic, though probably not certifiable. All she had to do was say it happened, and my son and I have had to pay for his little peccadillo. There was a law signed by our governor in August, leveling a removal-of-custody from a parent who falsely accuses another of abuse. I don't know if it's retroactive or not, but when it comes into law on january 1 you bet your bottom dollar I'm going to be on it like ugly on an ape. I was judged guilty from the beginning even though there were gaping holes in the prossecutions stories. I was not allowed to even talk with my son on the phone for 10 months, not see him for one (and then under constant supervision), and forced to pay over $600/month in support monies to (obviously) my ex on an income of $1800/month. If any of this is helpful, so be it. If you need any more help, except monetarily, please let me know. Good, good luck in your endeavors.

From: Jess Duran

Sent: Saturday, January 04, 2003 7:51 PM


I am a father that has lost three times in court. I have beg the courts to let me see my kids and have weekly contact with them. The problem is that the courts that I have been battling are in Utah because that is were my divorce took place. I now live in California and have been desperately been trying to find ways to see my childeren. I am current in my child support and even though I was granted liberal visitation rights when I got divorced, they were taken away from me in court even thought the child phycologist suggested that I should have been able to see my children. It all started when My oldest son said that he wanted to live with me and than she filed a restraining order and all my rights as a father were taken away not to mentioned the fact that religion in that state played a big factor.They ordered me to have supervised visits even though I have no abuse charges with my childeren. They also implied that I was not a good father because I gave my childeren a choice when it comes to religion.  I am desperatly looking for ways to have contact with my childeren again. Please if you have any suggestions e-mail me at this address.

 

Desperate father

 

Joe

TWO My nine year old son from my previous girl friend has been in the custody of his mother 99% of the time since she left California for Ohio and Oklahoma, in spite of 87 trips to the courthouse, 17 lawyers, more than one hundred thousand dollars in legal and court costs, and 37 round trips to pick up my son for "visitation". All of this effort has resulted in my bringing him back with me only 4 times. "Visitation" per the court order was supposed to be 12 weeks this summer, and after many round trips to lawyers' offices, court, and Oklahoma the actual length of his visit to California was trimmed to 9 days. His mother is in clear violation of the court order - but has the court heeded my requests that she either give me custody of my son or go to jail? No! And all this time I am paying $600 out of my $1400 per month in Army retirement pay, which I receive as the result of my being wounded in combat in Viet Nam. I was threatened with jail time because of a $37 error by the district attorney's office which could not be easily cleared up so I had to pay this $37 twice in order to avoid jail. Numerous lawyers have promised numerous results - a warrant for her arrest for violating the court order that I have my son for 16 weeks, enforcement of the visitation order we agreed upon, change of custody from his mother to me, change of jurisdiction from Oklahoma to California - but not a single one of these promises have been kept. To prevent my having custody his mother falsely accused me of sexually molesting him. During the investigation it was determined that he was sexually molested, but that the molester was her brother and not me. Even though I was cleared of charges brought by his mother, and even though it was proven that the molest took place while he was in her care - custody was still awared to her and it was still denied to me. My concern is not that I am a wounded Viet Nam veteran who deserves special treatment because of my service to my country, but that the legal system has consistently acted in the worst interests of my only son, not to mention at my own worst interests and at the highest legal expenses. It is clear that every court decision leads to ever-increasing legal fees above the ones which have already bankrupted me, while my son goes deeper and deeper into a moral crevasse. The rare occasions on which he is able to visit me are the light of my life, and he shines like a star when we are together. Yet just as soon as we get reacquainted, he must leave. I would gladly spend MORE than $600 per month for my son if it was to his benefit, but the $600 I send to his mother is NOT spent on him - it is wasted on frivolous expenditures for herself or to KEEP my son away from me. In fact this is the reason I was able to see him only 9 days this summer - she sent him to a camp which I knew nothing about during the time he was supposed to be with me, and paid for it out of the money I sent her. The best interests of this 9 year old son would be best served by abolishing this immature legal system completely. It has served absolutely no useful purpose for either me or my son.

THREE Just a "tip of the iceberg" example: (verbatim from Dr. Diamond eval) (From page 8) Tatiana is a small, blond, little girl who was highly cooperative in the testing but not very verbal. Upon meeting her in the waiting room, she immediately stated "tell Daddy to stop spanking me". This was prompted by her mother and it was very clear that Mrs. Oliver had carefully programmed this into her daughter. Mrs. Oliver also offered me a tape recording of Tatiana asking her to stop her father from hitting her and to tell him "to his mad face". Tatiana stated this numerous times throughout the session without any comprehension and without any depth of feeling. (End verbatim quote) This entire case scenario is a classic example of gender-bias within Family Law. Could someone contact me? It would be greatly appreciated!

FOUR Since when can a County court-at-law judge knowingly violate the Federal Immigration Laws? How can the so-called "Tender Years" doctrine be enforced when the father is the more capable parent by a preponderance of the evidence? Can the courts be liable for sex discrimination in their judgments? The details follow: I married a Mexican citizen and brought her to this country, along with a minor child born in Mexico to me, an American citizen. A second child was born here in Texas. The mother falsely accused me a child abuse and her and the children were removed from the home by the then Child and Family Protective Services division of the Texas Department of Human Services. During the investigation, my ex-wife was seen sexually abusing the children, was arrested and placed in jail. The children were placed into foster care. No consideration was given me even though the investigation totally exonerated me from any wrongdoing. When the children were returned to the family, the court returned the baby to my ex-wife, and several months later returned the older child, also to her. The Assistant District Attorney had declined to prosecute my ex-wife, and I have been unable to convince him otherwise, even though her psychological examination(s) and other data indicate that she has abusive characteristics. The Assistant DA was later arrested and jailed for Sexual Misconduct himself in San Antonio for an act that he had perpetrated in a public park with another male. This was the first indication of impropriety in this case. He was removed form office and nothing more will be heard on the case. His name is John Costello. Mr. Costello also successfully quahed the subpoenas of persons who knew of these acts regarding my ex-wife. The witnesses later disappeared from this area and their whereabouts are now unknown. After the investigation, a CPS worker by the name of Mary Toms took me aside and blatantly told me that if I did not file for divorce that "I would never see or have custody of my children." I filed for divorce and it was finalized in August of 1994. CPS showed up during the hearings and without any hesitation stated their recommendation for the children to be returned to the mother. Three Hays County judges recused themselves from this case. A visiting judge was brought in from San Antonio and made a decision contrary to the petitions without hearing me, the petitioner. On May 8, 1995, my ex-wife left the country. She was in Mexico for more than thirty days. A Writ of Habeus Corpus was filed Ex-parte on June 21. A hearing was held on June 30 and the children were again returned to her. The judge (Hays County Court-at-law Linda Rodriguez) was advised that my ex-wife is here illegally and is arranging a sham marriage to maintain her visitation here. She was also advised of the reasons for my wanting custody and my ability to do so at this time. My ex-wife is not educated beyond third grade, cannot read or write, speaks no English, has no income other than Section 8 HUD housing, AFDC, Food Stamps and more, while I neither demand nor need help. I am a full-time college student within a few hours of graduation. I have a job lined up upon graduation and have a wholesome, healthy and nurturing home for the children. I feel that I, and many, many other men have been blatantly and deliberately discriminated against in cases like this. I cannot afford an attorney, Legal Aid cannot and will not help, Texas Fathers for Equal Rights cannot represent me in court and most lawyers wants $15,000 with 10% retainers to even talk to me. In the meantime, my ex-wife has a court appointed attorney working for her for $1.00. This attorney does not speak Spanish and much of what has been said is untrue and biased by the translators. The Judge in the last hearing also told the translator to say precisely what was said, (the judge speaks Spanish) and still the translator persisted in saying her opinion rather than the words of my ex-wife. I realize that as investigators you cannot look at just one case, but at many. I feel that I am justified in my asking you to do a news investigation regarding this trend in Texas and nationwide. All of the records concerning my case are in San Marcos, cause number 92-0262 and are public record. You may use them as you see fit. I also have 1200 plus pages of the CPS records showing all details of this case for the last three years. I will also provide you with any and all other cooperation, as will thousands of other unhappy Texas fathers. I am sure that there are sufficient persons interested in these affairs to begin an expose on the behalf of fathers thoughout your viewing area. Please do something, even if only to satisfy the curiosity of your viewing audience. I ask this in full faith of your capabilities. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

FIVE I agree, something has to be done. One would think a class action suit claiming discrimination would be one way to go. Where does the equal rights amendment fit in here? Does it only apply to minority groups? If that is the case, only men with custody would qualify since they are certainly a minority. Perhaps the ACLU would be a good place to start. As yu can see, I have no answers, only more questions. I have been thinking abou this since the day I was removed from my life for no REAL reason other than the vindictiveness of my wife. If there is an attorney listening that specializes in constitutional law, I would love to hear his thoughts on suing the state of Florida. Florida is one of the worst places for a man to get a divorce. Sure, they have laws that claim both parents be given equal consideration in custody issues, but the simple truth is that women win custody at least 90% of the time. I think I'm rambling here so I'll hang up now.

SIX Men indeed need the support of the courts. I am not an expert in any means, but I've been around a while. It would appear to me that the Internet and all of the other services have the greatest concentration of intelligent men in several of the same positions. 1) Those that can, should DELUGE their Senators and Congressmen with letters and FAXES, lobby when you can, 2) require Judges to recuse themselves because of prejudicial judgements based on prior cases (yours or those in your knowledge) [All divorce and custody records are public. Look at the dockets of preceding weeks, months, or years, then see which judges made discriminatory judgements. Use these to support your Demand for Recusal], 3) and most importantly DOCUMENT everything. Later publish it in a public forum, [in a non-libelous or non-scandalous manner] the true happenings in the courts. Name Judges, lawyers, everyone. Tell the entire story to as many who will listen or read. 4) Write to and/or FAX to the TV stations. [In Austin Texas at the moment is a ratings war. Two of the Texas Stations are KEYE 42 (CBS) whose e-mail is KEYE42@aol.com, and KVUE 24 with e-mail at news@kvue.com] I am also seeking to organize. We must do something. I am tired of being discriminated against by the courts with no reason against except for gender. I am fighting mad! I am sure that if we UNITE like you stated, we can overcome.

SEVEN >I'm a father of three and a computer/networking consultant with my own >business (for some 18 years now) > >After my last court "battle" I've been ordered to pay over 75% of my >total takehome pay to support my kids - which doesn't leave me enough >money to support *myself* in a very modest apartment. According to >Colorado law - this is totally legal. > >It's time to change these laws. I do NOT advocate non-payment of >support to kids. I do, however, expect the amounts to be justifiable >and reasonable. > >I've spent most of the last month searching web sites and newsgroups >looking for some answers. All I've found are angry people and some >state groups doing their "state" thing supporting fathers and mothers >rights. It's time to take some of these issues national. I plan to do >just that, using the internet as the "vehicle." > >I'm in the process of building a group of rational people that are >willing to join me in taking these issues to Washington. I'm looking >for men/women/children/lawyers and of course, sympathetic elected >goverment leaders! If you know of web sites, newsgroups etc where I >can continue my search for members - let me know. I won't quit until >the group is thousands strong with members in every state - and we can >make an impact on a national basis.

EIGHT I think your idea of gathering stories is great! Nothing makes as much of an impression as an individual's story. My situation is that the divorce is still in progress, so my story is not yet ready. When a settlement is finally reached (or imposed) I'll let you know if it seems to be useful. In the mean time, I am working on an alternative wording of a manifesto. This week has been a bit busy.

NINE August 16, 1995 The Honorable Don Rogers Capitol Building #5052 Sacramento, CA 95814

Dear Senator Rogers:

I am asking your assistance on behalf of a number of your constituents who were falsely convicted and imprisoned in l984. I assume you have some knowledge about the l984 Bakersfield sex-ring cases -- the precursor trials to McMartin and other ritual abuse cases which swept the nation in the 1980's and early 90's. These cases were part of a national hysteria which resulted in hundreds of false convictions for events which never happened. Across the country we are seeing, one by one, the reversal of these cases (Kelly Michaels, NJ, Bob Kelly, Dawn Wilson, NC, Felix & Ontiveros, NV,etc.).

As background to my expertise on this issue, I served as Deputy Foreman of the San Diego County Grand Jury which investigated problems in the area of child abuse allegations. Since 1992, I have testified frequently before the California State Legislature. I have appended testimony I gave before the U.S. Congress and the U.S. Senate this year. In particular, I ask that you note the last section of the Senate testimony which deals with Redress, and the appendix, Child Sexual Abuse Cases with Compelling Evidence of False Charges and Convictions 1983-1995.

Relevant to the Bakersfield cases: in 1989 The Supreme Court of California overturned the convictions of several defendants in People v. Stoll, (49 Cal.3d 1136; 265 Cal.Rptr. 111); in 1990 the convictions of Ricky Lyn Pitts et al were overturned (223 Cal. App.3d 606; 273 Cal.Rptr. 757). Last week the 100 year sentence of Donna Sue Hubbard was overturned by the 5th District Court of Appeals. I have included newspaper coverage of this. Donna Sue has not been released on bail despite having already served 13 years and a scathing decision from the Justices of the 5th District. Furthermore, there are still seven other imprisoned persons involved in these cases. Some are awaiting the results of their appeals; others have exhausted their financial resources to appeal.

Scott and Brenda Kniffen were sentenced to 240 years apiece after their own children were badgered and frightened into testifying against them in a case that makes the Spanish Inquisition look honorable. Their sons Brandon and Brian have recently recanted their accusations of sexual molestation against their parents, telling how the social workers, police, and prosecutors programmed their testimony, promising them that they could go home with their parents if they repeated the prosecutor's lies. I have included a short summary of their particular case.

All of these convictions ultimately will be overturned because of the current state of knowledge about how these cases occurred and the recantations by adult children desperate to release the adults they falsely convicted. Nonetheless, it took ten years of tireless effort by an appellate attorney and countless years of pro-bono work by others to achieve these results. As the public learns more by media exposure to the witchhunt mentality which led to these cases, there is an increasing public outcry. Already we can see the effects in public unwillingness to believe even some well-founded allegations of molest.

The Republicans, both in California and at the national level, have been in the forefront putting safeguards into the system to asssure that cases like this could never again occur. That is good. It is not enough. As the State Senator from the district which falsely convicted these individuals, I am asking that you help lead a concerted effort to expedite their release. I have provided copious documents for you to read. It would be easy to just say, "let the courts do it". Meanwhile, these people are dying in prison, their children have grown up without parents, their parents have died unable to see their children free. It is a monumental tragedy which our children and grandchildren will one day study in the history books as we studied the Salem Witch Trials. Now is still the time for heroes to come forth. Soon there will only be time to climb aboard the bandwagon decrying the tragedy.

Sincerely,

Carol L. Hopkins

TEN From:Mark Charalambous (NE) Coalition for the Preservation of Fatherhood planned on having at least three protest rallies this year (in Mass.). We wanted one on CS, one on custody, and one on domestic violence/restraining order abuse.

BTW: Today, off to meet with the Assistanat Attorney General and the Chief of the Investigative Unit of the AG' office regarding egregious miscarriage of justice that happened here. Man from Georgia had custody via dovorce decree. Ex took kid to Mass, got arestraining order against father (which grants custody of minor children via a checkbox on the form!). When father came to Mass. to get the kid, he was put in jail for violating the order. Criminal improprieties -- falsifying interstate alias index records, etc, ketp him in jail for 200 days. He finally, after getting out and incredible persistance, got a judge to recognize the Georgia decree. He got his kid back. Too much detail to list, but he here today seeking criminal prosecution of the police officer that falsified documents, and others that conspired to falsely imprison him.

ELEVEN The divorce process began when my 5 year old daughter innocently looked up to me with her beautiful blue eyes and said "Me and mommy and another man went to a motel last night and we all spent the night in the same bed together". It turned out to be true, as it was certain she had no concept of how to lie at that age or of what the consequences were of her statement. Divorce papers, restraining orders, "visitation" orders, depositions of both friends and acquaintances, investigations of my private affairs and businesses, reports to al tax collection agencies (which seem to be common practice in a divorce now) all took center stage and restricted my influence in her life more and more as the abyss referred to euphimistically as the "justice system"got deeper and deeper. Two "ex parte hearings" were held to "request" the court to allow my own daughter spend more time with me, not just to see her, but because any normal father would have a big concern about his 5 year old daughter sleeping in the same motel bed as her mother and another man, and about a court system which did not seem to believe there was any problem with that. The concern was not about any physical act but because of possible psychological problems this could cause in a 5 year old girl. Twice the female judge rejected the motion, outwardly stating that she saw nothing wrong, and explaining that a hearing would have to be scheduled - which would take at least 90 days. This should have been the wake up call that the court did not have as much concern for a 5 year old girl as her father did. It also led to the discovery that this is a nationwide phenomenon. After a very anxious and sleepless 90 days the hearing was supposed to take place, but upon arrival in court the judge said "we [mysteriously] set it aside - you are going to have to schedule another hearing", another 90 days later. The violent emotions of the divorce, the battle over money and property, the systematic destruction of my business, the loss of reputation with both friends and business clients, the placement of my beautiful and lovely only daughter in harms way, the continually reduced time I was "allowed" to see her, the callous disregard by the court for what was clearly a bad situation for her, and yet another delay in the court's taking action, all taken together, left no options for a father whose ONLY concern was the welfare of his only 5 year old little girl. We left for the northern part of the state where I had purchased another home. This was the best 45 days of my life. We had a chance to be together without the influence of her mother for the first time ever, and it was a surprise to discover how nice that was! That was 4 years ago and I have not seen nor spoken one word to my daughter since. The "justice System" has since then put me though absolute hell in its zeal to patch up its own failings. I, the proud father, an alumna of one of the only 2 remaining military schools with an intact honor code, a US Air Force Captain at age 22, a veteran of Viet Nam, president of my own company, private pilot, black belt karate expert, first place racquetball champion, MS Engineering, having represented my country with honor in travels to 72 countries around the world, and having lived in 24 of them as the son of an Army Colonel, am now in the eyes of the United States of America -- a "convicted felon". And the "crime" - absolutely nothing more and absolutely nothing less than trying to be something to my own daughter that she does not have now - A FATHER! This government has done everything in its power to destroy that concept. This is the heart and soul of this nation -- and it is a corrupted nation. A list of all of the things that this "country" has done for men, fathers, and families is VERY short, with national defense being the only visible "benefit". This nation's governments spend 42 cents out of every dollar earned by its male workers, yet national defense costs only 4 cents. WHAT HAPPENS TO THE OTHER THIRTY EIGHT (38) CENTS? The answer is that a very, very large part of it is used to take our children away from us! Virtually every other penny taken from each of those dollars earned by those hard-working US male citizens, who pay the vast majority of those taxes, goes into programs designed weaken the role of the father and to destroy the family. This "justice system" serves no useful function in families. It only destroys them. And this must end.
 
 

TWELVE I am constanly amazed at the illogic applied to our children's welfare. Existing Legislation takes a non-custodial parent (men and women), strips them of their children and all associated God-given rights then demands that that parent pay (financially & emotionally) for this isolation. In Tennessee the attitude is still predominately if you have a womb you are the best parent and entitled, by gender, to control the children God gave to both (repeat BOTH) parents. I am sure Tennessee is not the only state in which this attitude exists. Those of us (and there are many - growing daily) who have endured this and similar misjustice, humiliation, and degradation must consolidate into a viable voice in our nation. Our voice must shout day-after-day-after-day-after-day to our elected representatives " I love my children and want to be respected as more than a monthly payment. I am not a 'vistor'. I am a parent and am entitled to no less than any parent regardless of my martial status. When society recognizes 'support' as more than monetary, 'arrearages' will inherently be reduced". The Society for the Preservation of Family Relationships has taken on the mission. Right now we are a very small but dedicated group of parents seeking legislation that encourages the rights of children to have open, unhendered access to both parents, regardless of marital status. Our primary focus is to educate the public and legislators that except in the "conventional" marriage arrangement, parents are driven from responsible parenting roles, to the detriment of our nations youth. There is no greater evil in our nation than the allowing the legal system to become a surrogate parent. It must be stopped. Parentless/Fatherless children are the future of our country and the legal system encourages, sometimes forces, this upon many of us who otherwise are responsible,loving,caring parents. Implementing change to a system that is so deeply imbedded in society as the norm is no easy task. We are seeking help. If you have email addresses of legislators and decision makers that can affect change, please forward them to me. If you have documents displaying the negative repercussions of the laws, forward them to me. If you have the capability, desire, expertise, and/or contacts needed to implement change, let me know. Any suggestions? Can you help?

THIRTEEN My SO has a terrible, evil ex-wife who took sole custody of their 6 year old disabled son and 20% of his meager income and still won't stop bashing him. This past weekend at the Philadelphia Folk Festival we spotted her and the child in the crowd and she refused to allow my SO to have the child for a visit while at the event, even though a few weeks earlier she was sore because he hadn't wanted, for reasons owing to the disability, to take the child camping there for the whole weekend. She denied him visitation rights there in front of the kid! On a weekend which was originally a dad-visitation weekend to begin with! It was heartbreaking. I am all for any concerted effort to change the tide which separates dads and kids, but what's the use of wasting all this time and energy on quibbling amongst each other?

FOURTEEN Met Sara Jayne Snyder, M.D. in a bar 10/16/81. Married her 1/28/82 in Manhattan City Hall. Maxine born 1/17/85, Audrey born 2/25/87. In March 1992, after about 2 years of intense screaming, I told her that I did not want to have sex with her until she agreed to counseling. My next mistake was refusing to sign a separation agreement which gave Jayne sole custody of the girls. I was extremely close to both kids because Jayne had worked 8 PM - 8 AM, 4 nights a week, since 1988, and I stayed with them. Jayne was angry so she charged me with raping Maxine while Audrey watched. I got even angrier and wrote about 300 letters complaining about this. Although her friend Joan was cited for improper interviewing techniques, Jayne herself performed Maxine's forensics, and Audrey's therapist "validated" it, the DA declined to prosecute. The exact charge was repeated two more times, and I was also charged with molesting Audrey once. The last charge was deemed to be so incredible that a "real" validation was ordered. Validator said that Jayne should quit charging me with rape, and that we should get out of court altogether. Judge and GAL promptly "lost" this report, but Assemblyman Feldman "found" it for me. I've also been charged with non-sexual stuff like "demanding a cup of coffee and to use the bathroom", and simply calling Jayne up to say that I was going to pickup the girls. I am currently facing six months in jail for allegedly telling my own lawyer that I would put a bomb in Jayne's car if she refused to let us be examined by a certain psychiatrist. Our Judge, William P. Warren, and Law Guardian, Jacqueline Sands, inspired a demonstration in 1992, and I think there she be another. I have 2 newspaper articles about them on my Web page. -- Mitchell D. Miller --- mdm@ocsny.com --- http://www.ocsny.com/~mdm/ Old picture of kids

FIFTEEN It has come to my attention that HR1855 is making it's way through subcommittee. As a fellow conservative Republican, I ask that you stop this wrongful bill. Every parent, both mother and father, have a right to be fully involved in a child's life. The allegations of abuse made by Elizabeth Morgan were never proved. Instead of dropping this case, she continued illegally to take matters into her own hands. She should never have been released from jail, and her actions should not be sanctioned by your subcommittee, nor the House as a whole. For four years, my daughter was deprived of her father, as her mother ran with her. I got her back, after years of neglect. In the past 18 months that I have had custody of her, I have had to bring her up 4 YEARS by developmental standards. In my case, not only by being involved in my daughter's life, did she have a father, but she also had a second parent who was ready, able, and willing to get involved in her life when one parent was not. Young Hilary Foretich deserves this too. Please, we all hear of the need to fight "political correctness" and reverse discrimination. The cause of father's rights is one of those beleaguered causes. Help us strike a blow for equality. Attached to this e-mail is a letter descibing this story in more detail. STOP HR 1855!!! Elizabeth Morgan Bill (US House File 1855) Elizabeth Morgan, you may remember, falsely accused her husband Eric Foretich of sexual abuse of their daughter, Hilary Foretich. During the custody battle spanning several years in the 1980's, Morgan accused Foretich and then his family of horrific abuse. Medical evidence was inconclusive, and her claims were never proved in court. She sent Hillary into hiding seven years ago rather than deliver the child for court- ordered visits with her father. She spent 2 years in jail for contempt of court, but was finally released by an Act of Congress. Congressman Tom Davis (R) of Virginia has sponsored a bill (HR1855) to grant Elizabeth Morgan immunity and forbid the father from seeking contact with the child. The bill has been referred to Davis' Committee, Committee for government Reform and Oversight, Subcommittee for the District of Columbia. WRITE TO CONGRESSMAN DAVIS AND HIS SUBCOMMITTEE opposing any such special dispensation for a person who wantonly flaunts the laws of the U.S. and New Zealand, just because she does not want the child to have a relationship with the father.

SIXTEEN In 1982 my ex took off with our 11 month old daughter. I was in the hospital having surgery. When I got out of the hospital aweek later. I came home to an empty apartment and checking account. She left my clothes and my tools. She took everything else hers/mine/ours. She ran up a $400 phone bill. She sold my car. Her family lied and evaded about her wherabouts. She told people that I had been cheating on her and that was her reason for leaving. I didn't have time to cheat on her. I loved her. I was working 2 jobs and going to night school. I put her through business college. I spent 2 years looking for her and our child. In 1984 I recieved papers from the state of Oregon that my ex had filed for and recieved a divorce from me by default. Finally in 1984 I met someone new. We got married and started a family we have been married happily for 11 years. Anyway, In 1987 I recieved demands from the state of Oregon for child support of $150 per month with accumulated arrearages totalling $3600. I immediately notified the state that I would not pay. I was summoned to court for a show cause hearing for contempt. While waiting to be called before the judge the state prosecutor told me "I'm gonna put your ass in stir boy, unless you pay up". I told him to fuck off. I went before the judge he asked my why I wasn't paying my child support. I told him I hadn't seen or heard from the woman in question in nearly 6 years and that until such time as she faced me with the reasons for her leaving I would not pay. The judge told me he could put me in contempt and jail me until I changed my mind. I told him that that was true, and that I was prepared to do as much time as his honor saw fit to give me. I explained that while I was doing this jail sentence the state would be obliged to pay my current wife and childs expenses, the cost of my incarceration, legal fees, bad publicity (elected judge) etc. After much back and forth and gasbagging by the previously mentioned state prosecutor, the judge decided that their was no cause at that time for finding me in contempt. I went home to my family. I have spent a total of 47 hours with my daughter. Not by choice but because my ex will not allow me to see her. My ex spent 9 years collecting welfare she had another child by a another man, he molested both girls. Nothing was ever done, my ex would not allow our daughter to testify. My ex has moved 14 times in 11 years. I have lived in the same place for nearly 9 years. I am self employed. I am active in our community. I provide nicely for my wife and our 3 children. But according to the State of Oregon I'm a deadbeat and a criminal. This woman never said so much as "I'm unhappy" prior to her departure. I didn't make her do anything she didn't want to do. She loved to spend the money when we had it but when things got tight she bailed. The welfare system told her she didn't need a husband, the system would give her everything she needed and if , Hey! she spread 'em and got pregnant again she could get more money. Now the government wants to suspend the drivers liscenses of those that don't pay their support. Right. That'll make us pay up. Can't fight city hall? Watch me. Try as they will the state of Oregon has never been able to collect from me. It is now 1995 and the state says that I owe $19,000+. I refuse to pay. I will never pay. I've already paid enough.

SEVENTEEN Referred to you by American Fathers Coalition. 7-year custody fight. I need a support group for some guidance in specific areas re: Child Custody; False Allegations; etc. On-going custody battle over, now, 10 yr old daughter. 2 Court-ordered Family Evaluations in 1988 - both favorable for me; unfavorable for mother. 1st eval was so totally contrary to ex's allegations that Court ordered a 2nd eval. It turned out the same, but, in some ways, worse for ex. Finally, in 1991, Court ordered 50/50 time w/joint/divided custody. Ex-wife waited 3 1/2 years so that prior evals would be "outdated". Am now back in Court. Judge ordered yet another (3rd) eval which turned out much the same as the 2 prior. Went to Court armed with 3rd eval. Judge (Honorable Colleen Toy White) hadn't read eval or any history of case. Granted full hearing. Ex is challenging the evaluation! Trial scheduled for Sept 25. Have legal counsel, but, still need help. Would like to explain and expound on several subjects. I am in the L.A. area (Malibu). Fax: 310-589-1919; Vc: 310-457-2775; email Court venue is SUPERIOR COURT OF CA, VENTURA. Please feel free to contact any of the following for verification: Marriage Counselor : Walter E. Brackelmanns, M.D. 818-990-7070 1st Court-appt'd eval : Stephen J. Wilson, M.D. 818-344-6930 2nd " " " : Leonard Diamond, Ph.D. 805-482-5166 3rd " " " : Eva Baranoff McKenzie, Ph.D. 805-379-3799

EIGHTEEN It's difficult to know whether to be anonymous or not. Whoever reads this should know that some truths are so destructive to children, so heinous and animical to "the best interests of the child," that anonymity, however often the coward's cloak, is necessary. Anonymity in this case, and I suspect, in many others, is nothing less than a man's love and respect for his children. We don't need more victims. So, anonymously... I get the children, 14 and 11, half the time. In reality, I take care of them 5 or 6 days a week. Lucky me, compared to the fathers who are reduced to visitors and emotional rubble. But, not lucky me, compared to what the outcome of my divorce would have been had I been a woman and a mother. My children's mother abused both children sexually. She traveled three months a year. She was, by her own admission, "an emotional bystander" when it came to raising the children. She tried daily to keep the children from loving me. All she had to say in mediation was, "I'm the kids' mother and I'll change." She hasn't. My son spent five years in intensive treatment for the abuse he suffered. A written agreement stating that my ex wouldn't travel on days she had the children, especially because of the kids' need for predictability, is violated about half the time. If I went to court, and got lucky, I would get sole custody. I also would cause the children a lot of harm and kill much of the positive energy I have to love my kids and try to affect change. In the past week, my children have broached the subject of my being in charge of them full time. The fact that they have to choose like this, that the divorce agreement was prejudicial to me because of my gender, is more painful than I can say. That's my story. That's also one more way of saying, "There are very few children in America with fathers who aren't in some way battered and beaten." The fight goes on. It must be win. Nothing is at stake except our children and our humanness.

NINETEEN Working on my personal case, rather than the rest of the world... Lost in court. Now I have two sons (my only children) who have been stolen by women whose illegal behavior is supported by the tyrannical judiciary. I am only allowed to "visit" my son every other weekend... "at the discretion of the mother" ... because she is "afraid I might say something bad about her to my son, because she is trying to have me incarcerated for a year for falling behind in my child support!" Please keep this confidential!

TWENTY Because my then-wife KNEW she would have to be proven "unfit" before she would not have SOLE custody of our daughter, she refused to even make the slightest effort at saving the marriage. Though during the marriage I lived the textbook "good husband and father" by all the feminist standards (>50% of housework and childrearing), I was stripped of my parental rights as a matter of course. Because I was only the FATHER, I was reduced to nothing more than a source of income to my former spouse and a visitor to my own flesh and blood. I have, since then, donated over 2500 hours of my time to helping other fathers in their similar needs for friendly support and empowerment. I have, since then, written over 300 letters to editors, producers, writers, advertising agencies, talk shows, etc.. I have sworn that I will not stop my diligent efforts to stop this madness and keep it stopped, once we are successful. I keep my promises.

TWENTYONE Hmmmm, yeah, Ok. Chicken like a Christian about to be fed to the lions! I have not heard of *anybody* else here on campus that opposes the fems propaganda, and seeing how the Admin. is solidly feminist it's easy to understand why. You can persecute a male who doean't actually *do* anything here, just because he says something that a fem finds "offensive." I read at the Christina Hoff Sommers web site about the painting on the wall in the classroom of a Pennsylvania university (can't remember the name of the institution) which was removed because it created a "chilling" environment to women. If that was chilling, we men are in a deep freeze here. No "surprise" there! I guess I was just "tearing my hair" at the (seemingly) hopeless nature of the "debate" here in AA. I think that we both know what their "reaction" would be... This is something I will look into now that staff and students are back in earnest. And no, there really is *no* discussion at all here about men's or fathers' rights, other than the usual anecdotes about domestic violence (man-on-woman violence only), "Deadbeat Dads" (no moms) and how all classes other than Women's Studies are "Men's Studies" (vs. the indoctrination of boys/men into a twisted social norm created to protect women, as Farrell describes in "The Myth..."). When I suggested that the U might create a "Men's Studies" Dept., or at least change Women's Studies to Gender Studies I was seriously harangued and denounced for being just another "Angry White Male." So now I take a more careful and low-profile approach. I *do* want to finish my graduate work here. They don't seem to get beyond the "get rid of the abusive husband" mind-set. I think that there are some who tend to agree with me, but it's a hostile environment around here for Men's Rights advocates. We tend to keep our mouths shut in public and our discussions we keep among ourselves, but this may be changing. I'll keep you posted on things here. Since the academic year is just beginning I suspect things will be happening fast and furiously very soon. I'll get some of those copies of the Manifesto out next week when classes start and I have a chance of having a few sympathizers see them before the fems tear them dowm and/or dispose of them. I want to wait until the time is right, which it has *not* been. But that should change soon. We are a very "seasonal" town here.

TWENTYTWO Ex and myself are remarried. I fought for joint legal custody because I was advised I could not win anything more (i.e. physical custody). She tried to have me drop out of college to earn my full potential as an experienced restaurant manager. She was somewhat successful because support was set at $96/wk for a full-time college student. I stayed current on CS by student loans and credit cards. I graduated and now work as a chemical engineer. She took me back to court and argued for big bucks and won ($240/wk = $1040/month). After CS my take home is $1150/month. Our rent, student loans, car, and credit card bills are $4000/month, leaving a ridiculous (and impossible) burden on my new wife. My ex and her husband make over $70k/year. I explained all of this to the judge, including my wishes for custody. I offered to take custody with open visitation and NO support from her. In spite of all this the judge gave them exactly what they asked for...$240/wk. My credit cards are maxed and new cards are becoming more difficult to obtain. I'm headed for financial catastrophe. I want custody more than anything, but if I can't get that I would like my support to be lowered. Is there any case precedence I can refer to so that the judge will deviate from the ludicrous "guidelines"? Do I stand any chance of winning a custody fight? Any help would be greatly, greatly appreciated.

TWENTYTHREE Man! $1000 per month, I thought I had it bad, My x spends the support she gets on regular beauty appointments, car, vacations, etc... The best suggestion I have is to get her to sign the form which allows you to deduct the support on your taxes, if it is not already written in the divorce

TWENTYFOUR Ya know with all the email flying about lately, I just had to write and convey my thoughts. First, I definetly appreciate the info being distributed. It's so informative and enlightening to read about. I'm 32 years old, raised in a very stable home environment, my mom and dad started dating each other when they were in the 3rd grade (yep, we're talking elementary school!), they lived just houses away from each other and grew up together. Never did I witness a fight between the two of them, only one incident sticks out in my mind when I was about 8 - 10 yrs old: We were coming home from ??, pulling into the driveway and I think mom and dad were disagreeing about something, when we stopped, mom got out and picked up the newspaper laying in the driveway and walked around the block. Thats the biggest blow up I ever witnessed. Growing up I had a few friends who were in split families but it never fazed me, at that teenager phase I really couldn't concern myself with how it may or may not have been difficult for them. Just never had a reason to give it much thought, the idea of a split family was still so foreign to me. My closest friends that lived nearby were all from one-household families too. The family unit, in my eyes, was always a very comfortable, safe, stable haven environment. I got married when I was 25 years old to a man 12 years older than I. We are still very much married and still in love. He has 2 kids from a previous "encounter" (as I call it). The past 7 years has been a real shocker, eye opener, gut wrenching, fist clenching time for me. Not my husband, he's been living with it since the kids were 2 & 3 years old - he amazes me sometimes. But for me, well, I'm surprised that I hung in there. But I'm glad I did. Without going into all the gory details of dealing with a vindictive ex, lets just say that I thought I'd seen it all. Just some of the things I learned this past 7 years is that men/fathers have basically no rights when it comes to child custody. They also have a very low to no level of say so when it comes to raising their own children. They have none, if any, say so as to how the child support money is spent on their own children. They are viewed as a criminal in the courts eyes without ever given a chance to tell their side - we're talking Tijuana laws here - guilty until proven otherwise. I'm amazed at how easy it is for a woman with children to walk into a welfare office and apply and receive assistance. I'm amazed at how long a woman can remain on welfare and AFDC with the law simply turning a blind eye to the whole situation. (yes, OUR 'ex' is collecting both and has been for over 15 yrs.). It also boggles my mind that government agencies are so quick to collect the child support but when asked to also care about visitation - forget it! They say it's not their jurisdiction. Bullshit. And the constant harassment of a lawsuit when the mother decides that she needs more money because the price of horse feed went up or if you, god forbid, piss her off, expect to hear about how she is gonna sue for more money. We started hearing this out of the kids mouths! In our case at least we are nearing the end of the tunnel and her days are numbered, the free ride ends soon and we will be right here to witness it. These same people who live off the government for many years are many in the same who oppose abortion. Maybe I have a very radical view but I'm all for abortion, hey, accidents happen, we are not all perfect - I'm also for population control, I feel we do have a problem and our current problems are only gonna get worse with increased population, especially in the lower income, under educated, welfare families. Years ago a family wished for boys to be born because they could produce more food for the family, more labor, now you see people wishing for girls so that they can raise them to the age of conception and get another household member on the dole! I've always taken a pretty scientific view on just about everything, I was always taught to question everything, to believe half of what the media tells you and to find out the truth. If someone wants to flash a bible in front of my face and preach to me how abortions are "ungodly", let them-its a free world and we at least have the right (still, I think) to think our own thoughts. I will only remind them that my opinions are that I feel alot of these radical-bible toting lunatics are bad news. But I'm getting off the subject of fathers rights. There aren't many there. What rights they do have are many times squashed by the overpowering rights held by the mothers. Many of the mothers rights are "assumed". They are issues that the courts are still assuming belong to the mother because she is the mother. Kind of a sexist view. So I'm always interested in hearing about a judge in XXX county awarding custody to a father and awarding child support to be paid from the mother. Sadly this happens rarely. I've often wondered why it seems the men always end up shelling out the BIG $$'s to represent themselves in a child custody case when the women never seem to have to do this. Why is it assumed that custody of children automatically go to the female? I don't know why, I mean we all have to get up everyday, put our clothes on, go to work and then come home. Sure its a tough decision, I mean, its a no-win situation - the kids have to live somewhere so the one who you decide DOESN'T get the physical custody will be pissed. So whats the resolution? I can see where FATHERS is coming from, place custody in the males home then go from there. This will at least help to solve the other problem of welfare/AFDC deadbeats currently smacking the country in the kneecaps. But so much careful scrutiny would have to be placed on visitation; move away rights and cooperation in general, etc.. This is really turning into a very long one-sided conversation. I could go on and on. I guess I just wanted to get a few things off my chest finally. I just really scares me to read about this feminazi stuff - this I feel is going overboard in the wrong direction - it seems as tho you just can't call for "equality" anymore. And the stuff that recently went out about the newspaper article talking about BUG SPRAY, LESBIANS & NAKED WOMEN that really pissed me off, after laughing about it. What an insenstive thing to say about anyone.

TWENTYFIVE It concerns Liam, a small boy in Christchurch, New Zealand whose mother won't let him seee his father because his father won't agre to HER rules ....

Poem for Liam

Small boy
raised in the shadow of prejudice
who will teach you your secrets

how to be a man
despite the malignment of masculinity

the synthesis of kindness
and strength that marks manhood

the fine art of threading flies
to tickle tinted trout

the joy of punting a bloated bladder
across a puddled paddock

to commune with your kin
and be enlightened by their experience 

and to incorporate that particular pain
peculiar to men

Liam bereaved of your birthright
never forget he who is half of you

rise over the subtle subjugation
of your slandered sex
and stand tall

     

TWENTYSIX On Wed, 30 Aug 1995, Carmen Perez-Buenteo wrote: My name is Carmen L. Perez. My address is 3200 South 1st Street #1112, Austin, TX 78704. I am the oldest of three girls and was raised in a two parent home, which is how it should be!!!! My dad and I have become the best of friends and I love him very much. My parents just recently got divorced after 20 years of marriage. My youngest sister is now in the 10th grade and is being shifted back and forth from one to the other. I know my mother understands that even though she has custody, she will never take the place of my father in our lives. I think it is time for fathers to stand up and say no! Carmen

[Response to Carmen] Dear Carmen: My 11 year old daughter hates me as for five years now she has been under the hate men propaganda of her mom and the other radical feminists working at the privet school her mom abandoned her marriage FOR. I even got mom the job there and co-founded that school myself, but the feminist agenda crept in and...well....let us just say the motive of money has a lot to do with why mom's co-workers at a privet school would help abduct ones children so the mom working there gets custody and school support payments...pardon me....child support payments. The justification of course is mom was fearing for her safety so had to flee the omniviolent male shauevan-ist pig. It may not be widely understood but a man who got sterilized to save his wife from doing getting the big snip done on herself should not then be denied knowledge of or access to his children 6 months later. She has been the most hard hit by this ordeal of emasculinization of her father, and could use an e-mail pal Carmen. Her name is Nancy. My tears flow most for her because she is a young woman being to taught hate, not to love, yet love is one of the most important capacities in life, and hate is all that is needed to encist and destroy her soul. SHE NEEDS ALL THE TRUE PALS SHE CAN GET, HER TWO BROTHERS NEED PALS TOO. As for myself,,,if anyone has some extra dignity, e-mail me some. It,it is most important to any individual. Which is why it is the region being hardest hit by a manbashing custodial mom.

TWENTYSEVEN My case is similar to the WILLIAM J. HETHERINGTON CASE except that there were no children involved. The main motivator for my ex-wife was that if she did not get a conviction then she would be deported. I was sentenced to six years, served three. I was/am not poor, though I seriously underspent for my original defense, wrongly thinking it was a slam-dunk win for me. I lost my direct appeal, through Petition for Writ of Certiorari with the US Supreme Court. (denied) My case is still winding it's way through state court on a collateral attack, (Habeas Corpus) and will eventually be heard in Federal 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, but not until I have completed my parole in a couple of years. Since there were no children involved it is not directly related to Father's Rights, but mine is an interesting story and a travesty in the greater realm of men's rights.

TWENTYEIGHT HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WILLIAM J. HETHERINGTON CASE Wil is in an Ionia, Michigan prison on a Criminal Sexual Conduct (CSC) conviction. His wife claimed that he had raped her. The case was a matter of "he said/she said". Wil has been in prison, now, for 10 years. During all of that time he has consistently maintained his innocence. * MOTIVE FOR THE CHARGE - The trial took place during a bitter divorce and custody dispute. It was expected that Will would win custody, because his wife had abandoned the family for more than two months. * THERE ARE MANY IMPROPRIETIES SURROUNDING THIS CASE: Wil had to defend himself in criminal court at the same time that his divorce was proceeding. The divorce court froze Wil's assets after his CSC arrest. At the same time the criminal court refused to acknowledge that Wil did not have the use of those assets. Therefore, the criminal court refused to appoint a public defender. The way Wil obtained legal counsel was based on a "promise" to pay. Wil was offered a cheap and easy way out. On the first day of trial he was offered a "no contest plea bargain". He could have walked away (after having served 11 months in the county jail). He refused the offer - went to trial and was convicted - then the same judge who offered him the plea bargain sentenced him to 30 (thirty) years. William had no prior criminal record. The prosecutor had argued for 30 to 60 years. State guidelines are 1 (one) to 10 years. * Twenty lawyers have been interested in Wil's case over the past 10 years. Most of them say there was "error in trial" and "ineffective assistance of counsel". The prevailing opinion is that the law under which Wil was convicted was not constitutional under the state constitution. The lack of any money to defend himself is the reason why these attorneys have not taken his case. Several attorneys have taken whatever money Wil could raise and then abandoned him. Many persons who have attempted to assist Wil have been met with hostility, deception and "stonewalling" from public servants. - Wil has been denied his automatic right to an appeal under the U.S. constitution ! - 11/93 the National Coalition of Free Men (NCFM) raised the $3,000 needed to purchase an official transcript. * Wil has been in prison since 9/24/85. He was sentenced 11/26/86. Because he has no funds he was unable to obtain an official trial transcript. He needed this to file his (federal) constitutionally guaranteed appeal. but REMEMBER, the criminal court still refuses to acknowledge he has no assets. * The criminal court docket shows that an evidentiary hearing was scheduled for 7/29/86, but it was not held or rescheduled. An Assistant Prosecutor tried the case, but the county prosecutor who was running for State Supreme Court addressed the court on two occasions: The bond hearing and the sentencing. The implications are strong that he was "grandstanding" for the feminist vote. The judge, too, may have been looking for political favor with the feminist vote. * The doctor who examined Wil's wife (the alleged rape victim) testified that in examining her vagina he found no injury whatsoever and that this was unusual when a woman is claiming forceful intrusion. * Wil admitted in court that he and his wife had consual sex the day of the alleged rape. But the prosecutor discredited Wil's testimony by saying that Wil had no choice but to admit to having intercourse. As evidence he introduced a pair of Linda's blue jeans containing sperm. Yet there is no sperm in Wil's semen, because he had a vasectomy several years before. This fact was not picked up until Wil had been in prison for nine years and the NCFM organization had purchased his transcript so that the details of the trial could be examined. * On the day of the alleged rape, Linda Hetherington had visited her boy friend before going to visit Wil. It is suspected that the semen on the blue jeans is that of the boy friend. He was never called to testify at the trial. * Linda and Wil Hetherington had been married for 16 years when the couple broke up and Linda filed charges. * Linda visited Wil 8 (eight) times in jail on friendly terms between the time of his arrest and sentencing. Linda led Wil to believe that she wanted to reconcile their marriage. All Wil wanted was to get back his wife and family. * There were no "battered wife" allegations in the CSC case, nor were there any such charges in their 16 year marriage. Prior to the charge Wil had filed a police report of physical attack on him by his wife. These charges were documented by police photos of his chest. QUESTIONS ?? Please contact Betty Duffey, Chair, William Hetherington Defense Committee for the National Coalition of Free Men (NCFM) at PO Box 129, Manhasset, NY 11030. TO PROFESSIONALS: I have supporting documents, such as trial transcripts, police reports, Child Protection Service reports that show that Wil's children were abused after his incarceration, psychological reports and letters from Wil's daughters and one from his ex-wife, etc." - Betty Duffey, Chair, William Hetherington Defense Fund. ON AUGUST 1, 1994, Insight On The News Magazine did their cover story on William Hetherington. The magazine did an in depth investigation and reported on it fairly and thoroughly. For a back issue call (800) 356-3598. There is a charge. Have your credit card ready. DONATIONS TO WIL'S CASE ARE TAX DEDUCTIBLE in the U.S. Please be generous! Make checks out to: William Hetherington Defense Fund. Mail your check to PO Box 129, Manhasset, NY 11030. Thank You !!!

TWENTYNINE You want a f...... story? I've been falsely accused of raping my daughters 4 times. This is despite the fact that my ex-wife (an MD) performed our daughter's first forensic rape exam, because the DA decided not to prosecute. I am currently a fugitive, facing a prison sentence, for allegedly telling my own lawyer that I would blow up my ex's car if she refused to let our kids be examined by a certain psychiatrist. I've also been kept away from my kids for "demanding a cup of coffee and to use the bathroom" and for simply calling ex up to say that I would pickup the kids. After that call she said that she was terrified by my behavior.

THIRTY Greetings to all Fathers and NCP's from Australia. I hope to god I'm not too late to be included on the manifesto you are preparing. Just reading some of the battles you have had to go through makes my heart bleed. And I thought I had problems with the Family Law Courts. Sure is a leveller to see what shit some of you have had to deal with. A brief background. I was married in 1986. A son was born in 1987. A daughter born in 1989. So what, you say. Imagine being told I may not be the father of my daughter. Sure as hell was a shock. Marriage continued.Apparently the Supposed father was no more on the scene. 1992, and the ex has another affair with someone else. Then the first one and supposed father comes back into the picture.Separated in 1993.Courts awarded interim custody to myself pending a final hearing. Judgement in 1994, 12 months later. I managed to strike a feminist judge. Her opinion was that a mother was more important to children.She also stated it was OK for my EX to engage in several extramarital affairs as she was only exercising her freedom. And I thought marriage was supposed to be an institution. So I had to farewell my children and join the weekend dad brigade. I've been stuffed about over access on four occasions and telephone access on at least a dozen occasions. My ex will let my son speak but not my daughter. She says, "You're not her father so piss off". My daughter has known me as her dad for the first five years of her life and now is getting this shit dumped on her. The kids are constantly questioned about the time with me. Are being picked up by the throat by my little girls natural father (who has now married my ex). They get pushed around and kicked and yet the legal system won't help. The kids are now being moved about 1500 kms away and I'm doing my damndest to stop it. I always thought things were supposed to be in the best interests of the children. Hell, even the family councillers report recommended that the kids would be better suited living with me. All this was ignored. I remember something my young girl gave me on fathers day recently. It was a small card that said. "Anyone can be a father...but it takes someone special to be a DAD". I will continue to fight for my children !!!! Fight on Fathers (Dads).

THIRTYONE I know many people will be signing the FATHERS' MANIFESTO out of anger at injustices they have known at first hand. Many have experienced the pain of divorce, and of being victimized by financial greed even as they were torn apart from their children. Others may be children of divorce. Millions of people have seen their personal world shattered. I'm signing the FATHER'S MANIFESTO because I've been fortunate. I've been divorced myself, and it's never easy. Yet I was luckier than many. The divorce came after only a short marriage, which we'd made in too much haste. We weren't right for one another. In a world of confused values, we all make mistakes. Luckily there were no children to be hurt by our separation. Perhaps it's significant that my ex-wife was very ambivalent about having children, which I saw would be a problem in the long run. To have children is to accept a vital responsibility into our lives. Today I'm happily married with a daughter of eleven, so my story is a simple and ordinary one. But it starts with my mother and father. I was raised mostly in the Fifties. We weren't well off, but we always had enough to get by. At one point in my childhood, due to changing work and financial circumstances, we were obliged to move around and ended up without a home of our own. In a literal sense, we were "homeless" for almost a year. Yet we were never without a place to live, due to the ties my mother and father had forged with friends and community. My parents sometimes argued in those times of stress. These were worrying events for a boy of eleven. I can understand how children of divorce are scared by what's happening around them. Yet at no time did I ever have the ultimate fear: that my parents might separate, that I might be cast adrift in the world, forced perhaps to choose between one or the other, to "take sides." They were always together. The idea of separation, of breaking up a family, was unthinkable to them. My parents' goals were overriding. They accepted without question that honoring their marriage and their parenthood, their motherhood and their fatherhood, was paramount. On one occasion, so my mother told me, my father left the house in anger after they had had an argument. On his way to work, he turned around and came back. "I couldn't leave the house like that," he told her. He had unfinished work to do: the work of a husband and father. They made up their argument. "Marriage is give and take," said my mother. Indeed it is. She too lived by this principle. They both put a lot into their marriage. They got a lot back in return. What they gave me was far more valuable than money. They showed me how to keep the faith with one another, and with me. All around me, I see people working to keep the faith. My wife comes immediately to mind. So do many friends and neighbors with children. So does my daughter's Girl Scout troop leader, working to build a network of adults to give community support to children as they grow. There are countless others. I must even include my ex-wife. She too "kept the faith." Although breaking up is painful, we were both able to do it with fairness to one another, and, dare I say, with love. On my side, I must credit my parents with teaching me how men and women can resolve their differences with love. On her side, the credit belongs to her; though I don't doubt that too was an article of faith passed down to her by her own parents. If we must break up, it behooves us to tread lightly, to do as little damage as we can; for what we're treading on is the foundation of society itself. When we have children, it's our personal responsibility to build and maintain for them a stable and intimate support structure, both economic and nurturing, that includes both the people who are responsible for bringing the child into the world: the mother and the father. Misguided writers, from Barbara Ehrenreich to Germaine Greer, have openly expressed the hope that government should replace the role of father to the child. They are catastrophically wrong. Government can only provide children with money taken from others. It can never do the work of families. Only people themselves, fathers and mothers working together, can do that for their children. That's what my own parents did for me. The family, and blood relationships, are the building block of society itself. Take those building blocks away, and society crumbles. This is what I'm seeing today. My personal world has not been shattered. It's still intact. But around me, the world is crumbling at the edges. Its not the place of trust, safety, and ethical behavior that it used to be. None of us, however personally fortunate, can remain unaffected by that. We can't ignore the injustices we see, in our so-called "family" courts or anywhere else. Crime affects us. We ourselves ha